I am 53/54!

Not only is that a link to the high res version of these pages, it’s also a reference. Anyone who has seen Guardians of the Galaxy will understand. If the rest of you are on the fence then perhaps my quick review (NO SPOILERS) will be of some assistance.  So without further adieu:

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What I liked:

1) The movie was written by a lady (rare) and the writing is oh so delicious. Every piece of dialog is fun to listen to in this movie. If you loved the writing behind Firefly you’ll love this.

2) The villain was wonderfully villainous. “Ronin” is a visual cross between Marilyn Manson and Skeletor (if you’ve not read the comics). He doesn’t speak much but his menace is palpable.

3) The soundtrack of this movie set itself apart from most sci-fi flicks from the very beginning. It’s a fun/catchy blend of modern music and cinematic scores.

4) Oh man, sexy sexy space ships.

5) I don’t normally praise a movie for it’s visuals but Guardians was seriously fun to look at…

The Rest:

6) …that said? Guardian’s action scenes suffer from that same blurred chaos that fogs up most blockbusters. For the most part the action is totally solid but there were plenty of times I found myself squinting, just trying to keep up with the frenzied cuts and dizzying shots that are meant to feel more like action than convey it.

 7) I heard this movie passes the Bechdel test, and maybe it does? but it barely qualifies. Honestly it felt like a step backward between our hero’s disregard for women (bros before hos amirite?) and the inevitable de-clawing of the femme fatale (cuz sexy ladies need miniskirts.)

8) Last critique?  There were a couple of times where I thought “was it really easier to do that in CGI?” I confess that visual effects are getting better and better, but I still maintain that there’s no substitute for a well made physical effect. Guardians has moments where I wanted to scream “USE A PUPPET!”

Conclusion:

This is going to be one of those movies that, as far as Marvel fans are concerned, is above critique.  People are saying this is the best movie of the year, and even the best Marvel movie ever made.

I might even agree! But all that hype made this movie seem like I was going to have an orgasm every five seconds. So when what has become the rather typical shortcomings of most movies reared up it seemed especially jarring.

But that’s just me, whenever I hear hype I get all skeptical and think “oh yeah?” Also the day I find out how much they paid Vin Diesel to say “I am Groot” is likely the day my brain explodes.

It was a good movie.  Watch it!